The calories in chocolate don't count because chocolate comes from the cocoa bean, and everyone knows that beans are good for you.

Smile. it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Men exist because a vibrator can't fix a flat tire. On second thought, I should just buy a AAA card.

I chose the path less traveled but only because I was lost. Carry a map. - Phoebe Traeger

Let's start with where you are,' he said. 'You're here.' Taking her hand, he pressed it to his chest above his heart.

Sounds like you kids have some talking to do. I'll be eavesdropping from the kitchen.

Who’s there?” “The scratcher of your itch,” he said. She opened the door a crack and stuck her nose out. “Was that supposed to be romantic?