The memo's chief function ... is as a track-coverer, so that you can turn on someone six months later and snarl: 'Well, you should have known about it, I sent you a memo.

A lot of meetings are held to arrange when to have meetings. ... Meetings today are usually called conferences to make them sound more significant.

If you feel compelled to give a New Year's Eve party, don't invite people to arrive too early or they'll go off the boil before midnight.

I have a theory that the secret of marital happiness is simple: drink in different pubs to your other half.

The only thing a whirlwind courtship does is blow dust in everyone's eyes.

in a village you can't sack or fight with someone, as you'll find yourself stuck beside them in the hairdresser's next morning.

People always assume that bachelors are single by choice and spinsters because nobody asked them. It never enters their heads that poor bachelors might have worn the knees of their trousers out proposing to girls who rejected them or that a girl might deliberately stay unmarried.