A lot of long relievers are ashamed to tell their parents what they do. The only nice thing about it is that you get to wear a uniform like everbody else.

For a hundred years, the owners screwed the players. For 25 years, the players have screwed the owners-they've got 75 years to go.

Opening day -- or Opening Day. Depending on how you feel about it.

How come nobody wants to argue with me? Is it because I'm always so right?

If you had a pill that would guarantee a pitcher 20 wins, but might take five years off his life, he'd take it.

Forget goals. Value the process.

Lots of people look up to Billy Martin. That's because he just knocked them down.