If you had a pill that would guarantee a pitcher 20 wins, but might take five years off his life, he'd take it.

It never hurts to apologize, especially if you don't mean it.

Opening day -- or Opening Day. Depending on how you feel about it.

Lots of people look up to Billy Martin. That's because he just knocked them down.

For a hundred years, the owners screwed the players. For 25 years, the players have screwed the owners-they've got 75 years to go.

Statistics are about as interesting as first base coaches.

Back then, if you had a sore arm, the only people concerned were you and your wife. Now it's you, your wife, your agent, your investment counselor, your stockbroker, and your publisher.