I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.

You don’t have to run faster than the bear to get away. You just have to run faster than the guy next to you.

My hair had grown out long and shaggy—not in that sexy-young-rock-star kind of way but in that time-to-take-Rover-to-the-groomer kind of way.

If you can't stop the bad thoughts from coming to visit, at least you can make fun of them while they're hanging around.

It turns out that Molly wasn't her mother's daughter in that respect. Charity was like the MacGuyver of the kitchen. She could whip up a five-course meal for twelve from an egg, two spaghetti noodles, some household chemicals, and a stick of chewing gum. Molly ... Molly once burned my egg. My boiled egg. I don't know how.

The characters within a book were, from a certain point of view, identical on some fundamental level ‒ there weren't any images of them, no physical tangibility whatsoever. They were pictures in the reader's head, constructs of imagination and ideas, given shape by the writer's work and skill and the reader's imagination. Parents, of a sort.

When you die, do you want to feel ashamed of what you've done with your life? Feel ashamed of what your life meant?