There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'

I wish everyone could experience being rich and famous, so they'd see it wasn't the answer to anything.

I cannot be contained because I am the container.

I just want to be myself.

Riddle me this, riddle me that. Who's afraid of the big black bat?

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine.

I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible forever and ever.