Usually you regret the things you say no to.

Our love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny.

I used to draw a lot. If my mother would ask me to do something else, I'd have a hairy conniption. I'd just go crazy.

Lots of people say if you dredge too much stuff up, you'll go crazy - "You'll go insane!" But for a comedian, insanity is not a problem. It's a goal.

I'm talkin' about a place where the beer flows like wine, where the women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talkin' about Aspen.

If you've got a talent, protect it.

Not hope, but Faith. I don't believe in hope. Hope is a beggar.