I have been the guy who has everything but yet is so one-track minded about what I want, that I can't see my blessings.

I want to be the greatest actor that ever lived, frankly. I'd love that. But I don't need to be. I just want to be here. That's it.

One man's toxic waste is another man's potpourri.

If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.

Lots of people say if you dredge too much stuff up, you'll go crazy - "You'll go insane!" But for a comedian, insanity is not a problem. It's a goal.

I'm not a bible thumper, I'm not any of that stuff, but I do believe that the force is with us.