Life doesn't happen to you, it happens for you.

So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality.

I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which, was that you can fail at what you don't want so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love

If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.

I don't feel any pressure to be funny at all. I'm funny because I want to be funny. I could sit here and be serious for an hour and you would go away and make me much funnier than I am.

Before I do anything, I think, well what hasn't been seen. Sometimes, that turns out to be something ghastly and not fit for society. And sometimes that inspiration becomes something that's really worthwhile.

I'm the first to admit this whole salary thing is getting out of control. In the final analysis, it's still about the work.