People who do stupid things with hazardous materials often die.

On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free man.

When we have an item that has value to the school and the athletic department, we cannot throw it away just to be fair.

I took the wife out last night; one punch!

People who do stupid things with hazardous materials often die.

Scientists have discovered a food that reduces a woman's sex drive by 99%. Wedding cake.

I don't believe in predestined fate. The future is what we choose to create.