There are thirty-two ways to write a story, and I’ve used every one, but there is only one plot – things are not as they seem.

What smells good in the store may stink in the stewpot.

There is only one plot-things are not what they seem.

You can't stamp on a man's corns when he's got his feet cut off.

I told her the world was full of nice people. I'd have hated to try to prove it to her, but I said it, anyway.

There are thirty-two ways to write a story, and I’ve used every one, but there is only one plot – things are not as they seem.

If we all had all we wanted to eat, we'd crap too much. We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry.