Politics: where fat, bald, disagreeable men, unable to be candidates themselves, teach a president how to act on a public stage.

Governments mostly don't do much. And you've also got to understand the level of incompetence out there. Nobody knows what they're doing. They just pose and act as if they know and walk through life and get away with it.

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets.

I'm on my high school football team and MUST show how much I know.

The auditorium, named after a dead Queens politician is windowless in honor of the secrecy in which he lived and, probably, the bank vaults he frequented.

Journalism schools are good to get a job, but I don't know what else they are good for. I don't like the word "journalism" to begin with. It's news reporting, and that consists of using your two feet. The only lesson, then, that you could give people is how to climb stairs, because there are no stories on the first floor.