Newspapers are so boring. How can you read a newspaper that starts with a 51-word lead sentence?

Complainant received immediate lacerations of the credibility.

Baseball isn't statistics, it's Joe DiMaggio rounding second base.

The auditorium, named after a dead Queens politician is windowless in honor of the secrecy in which he lived and, probably, the bank vaults he frequented.

Speaks cheerful English and in the past has written this language with a paintbrush that talks.

If you gather a lot of stuff, then you write it, write in scenes with dialogue. Somewhere in the middle, rising from all this research like strong metal towers, is your opinions.

You see, the Mets are losers, just like nearly everybody else in life. This is the team for the cab driver who gets held up and the guy who loses out on a promotion because he didn't maneuver himself to lunch with the boss enough. It is the team for every guy who has to get out of bed in the morning and go to work for short money on a job he does not like. The Yankees? Who does well enough to root for them, Laurence Rockefeller?