Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

Nobody realizes that I work 18 hours-a-day for a solid month to make that TV hour look like it's never been rehearsed!

To his orchestra Stop da music, stop da music! You're supposed to follow da music, not chase it all over da place.

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down.

It dawned on me then that as long as I could laugh, I was safe from the world; and I have learned since that laughter keeps me safe from myself, too.

Don't put no constrictions on da people! Leave 'em the hell alone!