Ohio Governor John Kasich became the 16th Republican to announce that he is running for president. During his speech he referred to Jesus Christ, which is ironic because so did Americans when they heard another Republican was running for president.

Republicans also took control of the Senate after gaining another seven seats. I haven't seen the GOP get this many seats since Chris Christie made an airline reservation.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

President Obama spent Election Day away from any press coverage, attending closed-door meetings inside the White House. But on the bright side, it is nice to see some doors actually closed at the White House. It's a whole new Secret Service security thing.

There's a growing trend of older Americans who are using marijuana in their retirement. That makes sense because old people are always talking about their joints.

Even the White House is weighing in on the deflate-gate scandal. Yesterday they encouraged Tom Brady to 'be mindful of the way he serves as a role model.' And then President Obama stuffed out his cigarette and went golfing at noon on a weekday.

Success is.... happiness. Is that too Deepak Chopra?