People are so different in reality from the picture created of them on TV. So it's all a creation; everything is made up.

And I also felt that no one in an audience could abuse me worse than the sort of abuse I had had at work as a psychiatric nurse.

One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug.

I've always been criticised for how filthy my material is. Victoria Wood said to me once, 'I wish I was a bit ruder, like you,' and I said, 'Well, I wish I was a bit cleaner, like you.'

I used to get nervous about three weeks before a gig... now I've managed to condense it down to a manageable ten minutes.

I wasn't one of those hideous children who make their parents sit through hour-long performances when you're seven. I didn't do anything like that thankfully.

It's got too much hard work slapping them and telling them to shut up.