What could be funnier than a fat person trying to run a marathon?

When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.

Inside every fat person there's a thin person looking to get out - They've just eaten them.

Men are fantastic - as a concept.

Suffice to say, many women find their first appearance on a comedy panel show to be their last. Second chances seem to be given less often to the female of the species.

When you cry, you don't look very attractive; you look snotty and blotchy. People seem to manage to cry quite prettily these days, and to me, that smacks of not being very genuine.

I think it's difficult, if you're a quite private person like I am, to write about your life very intimately.