Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.

I've never trained as an actor. I've always thought I'm not a good actor. I've been told I'm not a good actor by a lot of people.

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.

When I was a nurse my favourite assignment was the anorexic ward. I sometimes ate as many as seventeen dinners

Regular panelists on shows can be terrifying. They own that space, and many guest comics suspect they are favoured in the edit, while their own hilarious jokes end up being ejected into the ether.

British ferries have stopped transporting live animals to the Continent. This has made it very difficult for England fans to get to Away matches.

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.