I must be an anorexic because an anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a fat person.
They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold, but for most people, by the time it's ready to eat, they just don't fancy it any more.
I'd love to live in Kent but it's all a question of work.
Men are fantastic - as a concept.
Inside every fat person there's a thin person looking to get out - They've just eaten them.
Everyone in comedy thinks if you go to the U.S. you become a global star but, unfortunately, I've always been a bit anti-American - so I never did.