I look like Julian Clary on steroids.

British ferries have stopped transporting live animals to the Continent. This has made it very difficult for England fans to get to Away matches.

Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.

What could be funnier than a fat person trying to run a marathon?

I can honestly say I've never sold any arms to a repressive foreign regime while reassuring everyone at home that the weapons will be used for nice things.

There are so many cliches associated with mental health - such as the 'fine line between lunacy and genius' - which are, on the whole, a load of rubbish.

To me, a politician's job is to listen to constituents' problems and try to sort them out.