I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.

I'm too nervous to eat before I go onstage, and I'll usually eat out after the performance or when I get home at midnight.

I often tell audiences at the start of my shows that I'm not gay because I've got petitions from lesbian groups saying 'Can you tell people you're heterosexual because you're giving us a bad name.'

I'm not a flag waver for obesity. It's not healthy, and you have a crap life because there is such a downer on it.

One of the guys that used to run it - for some reason I've no idea why he used to call me the Sea Monster and I was just looking around for a name and thought that'll do. That lasted for a couple of years probably.

I have such admiration for single mothers. I simply don't comprehend how you'd cope with that intensity, the lack of breaks, ever, on your own.

I believe that if your brain has to get to grips with complicated words, then you won't get Alzheimer's. I'm sure it's not true, but I do believe it.