Here's what no one ever tells you about love: it hurts, having your heart broken

Forgiving isn't something you do for someone else. It's something you do for yourself. It's saying, 'You're not important enough to have a stranglehold on me.' It's saying, 'You don't get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future.

On the other hand, I think cats have Asperger's. Like me, they're very smart. And like me, sometimes they simply need to be left alone.

Tutoring a four year old to get into an exclusive preschool made as much sense as hiring a swim coach for a guppy.

The Lord turned water into wine. All I'm suggesting is a trip to the grocery store.

A woman isn't all that different from a bonfire. A fire's a beautiful thing, right? Something you can't take your eyes off, when it's burning. If you can keep it contained, it'll throw light and heat for you. It's only when it gets out of control that you have to go on the offensive.

Because the more you changed, the less of you there was.