My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That's a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having fame.

I watched the Oscars, but there wasn't a side of me that was like "Oh, one day..." It was mostly "This is what I want to do, and how do I do it?" As soon as I decided that I was going to be an actor, for about five years after that, I just decided to not do much acting. It was like "Okay, this is what you're going to be later on."

There is some stuff on television that is shocking that it's on there, and shocking that it's not being censored. We run to that with torches and pitchforks and go after it. On Flavor Of Love, when a woman took a dump on the stairs, I mean, that's like J.R. being shot on Dallas, or like maybe the last episode of M*A*S*H. It's a milestone on television that's covered with chlamydia.

I don't really know. I think the first test is when you're very little and you fart, and you laugh at it and so do your friends and family. I knew before I was funny I was very annoying so I have that covered. I think it was because I was not very good in school I used humor as a defense mechanism. When I started doing plays and stuff at school I decided that I was going to keep doing it until someone tells me to stop and get a real job.

I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.

I've always been very opinionated, for lack of a better term, about art. Not to sound too arrogant, but I guess I'm a connoisseur of telling people what I think is good and bad.

Five-hundred years ago people were saying in manuscripts, "Can you believe these kids today?" They were saying that same phrase everyone says now. No one can believe the youth and what they're doing and how culture is going and how it might fall apart.