I would like eternal life. I would like to have the power to choose who lives and dies.

If you become famous and you start making money, then people want to give you things. It's the exact opposite of how it's supposed to be.

Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.

I have always survived with comedy, in that I grew up very dyslexic and did not get good grades. I always thought I was dumb, and there are many people out there that would agree

I've always been very opinionated, for lack of a better term, about art. Not to sound too arrogant, but I guess I'm a connoisseur of telling people what I think is good and bad.

Our mantra is that 90 percent of all television is bad, and ten percent has never been better. We make fun of that 90 percent.

It's important to have the right agent - people that are working hard for you. But an actor needs to be in control of their career no matter how good the representation is.