I would like eternal life. I would like to have the power to choose who lives and dies.

Hours is an understatement. I honestly don't know how the director and editor decide each week what actually makes it on the air. There's of course director and cast commentary on each episode on the DVD. We had a blast recording that.

I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.

I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of humor.

Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.

My intention with The Soup was to hopefully follow in the footsteps of past hosts, like Greg Kinnear. The pedigree of that show was really good and if it could just get me into some of those audition rooms I've always wanted to get into that I could not get into, then I would be very happy.

I wanted to play football and see how that went. In my mind, I knew I wasn't good enough to be a pro, but I was having a really fun time doing it. When you're on a college team, you can tell who's going to be a pro or not almost instantly.