I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.

Five-hundred years ago people were saying in manuscripts, "Can you believe these kids today?" They were saying that same phrase everyone says now. No one can believe the youth and what they're doing and how culture is going and how it might fall apart.

I don't really know. I think the first test is when you're very little and you fart, and you laugh at it and so do your friends and family. I knew before I was funny I was very annoying so I have that covered. I think it was because I was not very good in school I used humor as a defense mechanism. When I started doing plays and stuff at school I decided that I was going to keep doing it until someone tells me to stop and get a real job.

Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.

I'm very happy and being raised Catholic I assume it will end tomorrow. The rug will be pulled out from under me and someone will say, now go to your real job, shoveling poop somewhere.

I think we are as screwed as a culture as we are saved as a culture.

Well, that would be a title [the busiest guy in Hollywood] still reserved for Ryan Seacrest. I have one assistant; he has about nine. I don't have a food taster yet, I don't have a fluffer either. But, yes there are some days when I don't know if I am coming or going.