There are 3 basic differences between we British and you Americans. One, we speak English, and you don't. Two, when we have a "World Championship", we invite teams from other nations. Three, when you meet the British head of State, you only have to get down on one knee.

My compulsion to always be working has become less strong and my current business is purely down to this enormous alimony. If I wasn't doing this I'd be making documentaries about wildlife and other subjects that interest me.

Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted.

I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.

Nothing will stop you being creative more effectively as the fear of making a mistake.

I think the hard thing for young comedians is that the majority of the young people in the audience out there don't have the wide range of references.

Bureaucrats shouldn't be in charge of comedy.