The English contribution to world cuisine: the chip.

Sense of humor is so much more subjective than anyone believes.

I just think that sometimes we hang onto people or relationships long after they've ceased to be of any use to either of you. I'm always meeting new people, and my list of friends seems to change quite a bit.

When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.

I want to write a book which is the history of comedy.

I think it takes a long time, as you get older, to realize just how crazy the world is, just how ridiculous it all is.

Either people walk round dressed as chickens or they listen to Beethoven.