When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.

The English contribution to world cuisine: the chip.

We all die at the end, but does that nullify everything? Would most people rather say, "I wish I hadn't been born?" Once you're born you'll have to die, now is that funny or sad?

If you want to know who your friends are, have a major failure.

In Britain, girls seem to be either bright or attractive. In America, that's not the case. They're both.

Because, as we all know, it’s easier to do trivial things that are urgent than it is to do important things that are not urgent, like thinking. And it’s also easier to do little things we know we can do than to start on big things that we’re not so sure about.

Other people, you know, put a latex rubber on, you know, to become sexually excited. There's so much I don't understand.