What happens in the band room stays in the band room.

I don't think you're dying," I said. "I think you've just got a touch of cancer. He smiled. Gallows humor.

Nothing really ever happens like you imagine it will.

Remember that time in the minivan, twenty minutes ago, when we didn't die?

Nothing's wrong. Everything's right. Things couldn't be righter. Things could be less tired. They could be less busy. They could be less caffeinated. But they couldn't be righter.

The only thing worse than having a party that no one attends is having a party attended only by two vastly, deeply uninteresting people.

It doesn’t matter how long we’ve used something; all that matters is how awesome the thing replacing it is. MP3s and automobiles happen to be really, really awesome, whereas ebooks—at least so far—are fairly limited in their awesomeness.