In general, watching children's television is a dark and surreal descent into madness where the characters on the screen talk directly to you.

Without pain, we couldn't know joy.

Why don’t we break up? I guess I stay with her because she stays with me. And that’s not an easy thing to do.

I just want to do something that matters. Or be something that matters. I just want to matter.

We fell. We got up. We ran.

I knew that time would now pass for me differently than it would for him - that I, like everyone in that room, would go on accumulating loves and losses while he would not. And for me, that was the final and truly unbearable tragedy: Like all the innumerable dead, he'd once and for all been demoted from haunted to haunter.

But the fascinating and unbelievable-but-true thing about Dr. Jefferson Jeffersonis that he was not a doctor of any kind. He was just an orange juice salesman named Jefferson Jefferson. When he became rich and powerful, he went to court, made "Jefferson" his middle name, and then changed his first name to "Dr." Capital D. Lowercase r. Period.