You can say a lot of bad things about Alabama, but you can't say that Alabamans as a people are duly afraid of deep fryers.

She's just playing a trick on us. This is just an Alaska Young Prank Extraordinaire. It's Alaska being Alaska, funny and playful and not knowing when or how to put on the brakes.

But mothers lie. It's in the job description.

I was struck by an awful thought, the kind that cannot be taken back once it escapes into the open air of consciousness; it seemed to me that this was not a place you go to live. It was a place you go to die.

You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality!

Maybe life is not about accomplishing some bullshit markers.

I do not say goodbye. I believe that's one of the bullshitiest words ever invented. It's not like you're given the choice to say bad-bye, or awful-bye, or couldn't-care-less-about-you-bye. Everytime you leave, it's supposed to be a good one.