How do you just stop being terrified of getting left behind and ending up by yourself forever and not meaning anything to the world?

I hate the rich snots here with a fervent passion I usually reserve only for dental work and my father.

I'm just reveling in the glory of not having to hear the neediness and impotence of my own voice.

Getting you a date to prom is so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is used to cut diamonds.

Yeah, so if that guy can make it in drunk, surely we can make it in sober. I mean, we’re ninjas.' 'Well, maybe you’re a ninja,' I said. 'You’re just a really loud, awkward ninja,' Margo said, 'but we are both ninjas.

Also, I feel that crying is almost--like, aside from deaths of relatives or whatever-- totally avoidable if you follow two very simple rules: 1.Don't care too much. 2. Shut up. Everything unfortunate that has ever happened to me has stemmed from failure to follow one of the rules.

Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked. How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?