Patients are almost always preceded by their parents, because no matter how fast an ambulance can drive, terrified parents can drive faster.

That is the fear: I have lost something important, and I cannot find it, and I need it. It is fear like if someone lost his glasses and went to the glasses store and they told him that the world had run out of glasses and he would just have to do without.

It took me a sleeve of Girl Scout Thin Mints and forty minutes to get over that boy.

Tiny Cooper is not the world's gayest person, and he is not the world's largest person, but I believe he may be the world's largest person who is really, really gay, and also the world's gayest person who is really, really large.

I was thinking about this girl you love so much," she said, "And this place I love so much. And how that happens. How you can just fall into it.

Tiny, the next time that you try to set me up with a girl with a secret boyfriend can you at least INFORM me that she has a secret boyfriend? Also, if you don't call me back within five minutes, I'm going to assume you found a way back to Evanston. Furthermore, you are an asshat. That is all.

In the darkest days, the Lord puts the best people into your life." (p. 28)