I don't see any point in nihilism... just as I suppose the nihilist sees no point in everything else.

I was struck by an awful thought, the kind that cannot be taken back once it escapes into the open air of consciousness; it seemed to me that this was not a place you go to live. It was a place you go to die.

i know he's been looking forward to this--and i know that i've been looking forward to this. but now i have to stop looking forward and start looking at where i am. it's hard.

but there was nothing I could do to dim the supernovae exploding inside my brain, an endless chain of intra cranial firecrackers

That didn’t happen, of course. Things never happened the way I imagined them.

Doing stuff never feels as good as you hope it will feel.

And then something invisible snapped insider her, and that which had come together commenced to fall apart.