Good friends are hard to find and impossible to forget.

Life has become the future. Every moment of your life is lived for the future.

Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.

The world went on, as it does, without my full participation, and I only woke up from the reverie when someone said my name.

You were clearly not doing your part in the clover search, perv.

But pizza was originally Italian, although, Italian pizza doesn't taste much like this because this pizza is fortified with sodium. Which is a mineral...or a vitamin. All I know is that it's good for you.

The nature of impending fatherhood is that you are doing something that you're unqualified to do, and then you become qualified while doing it.