While I did not fancy myself a particularly good person, I never thought my first real sexual action would be prostitutional.

You're awfully philosophical for a girl that just got busted.

You cannot invent an algorithm that is as good at recommending books as a good bookseller.

Don't lie to anyone, but particularly don't lie to millennials. They just know. They can smell it. Be yourself: if you're old, be old. If you don't know anything about pop culture, don't pretend to know anything about pop culture. When you credit teenagers with intelligence and emotional sophistication, they respond intelligently and with emotional sophistication.

Frankly, I kind of want you to be haunted by the unansweredness of the question, because I think being haunted by such things is a valuable part of being a person.

If my public existence does anything worthwhile, hopefully it at least demystifies the author a bit, because I know when I was younger I felt like authors were like wizards or something. Turns out they're total muggles.

This is the Homosexuality Is An Abomination Club, right?