Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the Earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.

My type of humor is me not caring whether people know what I'm talking about or not.

Everything we make in life, eventually, is sold for a dollar or a penny or given away.

Hosting a TV show is a full-time job in which success is defined by it never ending.

People who run for president seriously and people who become president enter a bizarre secret society in which they have had an experience that none of us will ever have.

I am someone who values knowledge, actual knowledge. I also value stories and fiction a whole lot, and that's where the fake knowledge comes in.

Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you're still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, it's not that much fun.