In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse predict an ailing marriage: Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Contempt. The worst of these is contempt.

Admit when you're wrong. Shut up when you're right.

In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way. The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer ball. They kick it around. It's 'our' problem.

I liken an affair to the shattering of a Waterford crystal vase. You can glue it back together, but it will never be the same again.

When a couple gets to the last stage, one or both partners may have an affair. But an affair is usually a symptom of a dying marriage, not the cause. The end of that marriage could have been predicted long before either spouse strayed.

I believe we're going to find that respect and affection are essential to all relationships working and contempt destroys them.