I'm not as surprised in going from playing 1,000 seats to 4,000 seats as I was from 100 to 500 seats.

May this be the year that things go your way most of the time, and when they don't, may you have great friends to lean on.

I don't jerk off because I'm horny. I'm sort of half-chick. It's like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It's like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself.

Fear is a friend who's misunderstood

The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when sad tries to bite its lip and not cry, and smile and say, "No I'm happy for you"? Thats when it's really sad.

Very few things in life are worthy of the kind of emotional distress we put ourselves through.

Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak