Irritable Judges suffer from a bad case of premature adjudication.
The greatest horrors of our world are committed by people who are totally sincere.
Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.
The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.
On the three pigs he and his wife own: "We acquired the pigs last year. My wife was born on a pig farm and has always been very fond of pigs. Of course, they are for eating, which is why they are named Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. You wouldn’t want to eat Rufus, Marcus and Esmeralda.
Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.