The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.

We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.

The officers of the branch of the Force (the Obscene Publications Squad) have a discouraging club tie, on which a book is depicted being cut in half by a larger pair of scissors.

No power on earth, however, can abolish the merciless class distinction between those who are physically desirable and the lonely, pallid, spotted, silent, unfancied majority.

What obsesses a writer starting out on a lifetime's work is the panic-stricken search for a voice of his own.

I found criminal clients easy and matrimonial clients hard. Matrimonial clients hate each other so much and use their children to hurt each other in beastly ways. Murderers have usually killed the one person in the world that was bugging them and they're usually quite peaceful and agreeable.

The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed, saying: There is life, but it's not for you.