I stopped drinking when I was 23. I kind of started when I was 13, so it was a 10-year run. But I just became a bad, annoying drunk child, so when I stopped, I'd done a lot of things I wasn't proud of.

People having expectations maybe means they've enjoyed what I've done.

Part of standup is being loose and having a good time yourself and that translates to the audience.

It was funny to be an emcee, because you're so at the mercy of the club. You can show up for the weekend hoping to get the $400 - and get fired. I had to prank whoever they told me to prank.

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.

Excuse me: I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I'm new in town.

I definitely look like a toddler. I feel comfortable and I have a lot of fun out there [John Mulaney Show]. And if I were to be extremely egotistical, I'd say I got a tiny bit better.