I have no interest in ever making a movie I didn't write. If they were going to take my house away, then I guess I might have to. But my agent knows not to even bother sending me the scripts.

When I started making movies about weird people, I knew they were weird, I was infected with irony, and I wanted New York to notice.

I mean, what is prison, really, except a good bar without the liquor?

I think it's all independent films. There aren't any! If they were looking for me when I was making Polyester, then it'd be perfect, but they're not. I'm not looking for that. TV is much bigger and better now; far more people see it.

Anyone from my past I'm interested in, I've already stalked their homes. I like to go outside.

The selfie has become a new autograph, but it takes twice as long to do as a real autograph. I do it because I'm like, "What am I going to do, these people bought me my house." Why am I not going to take a picture with them except I always say, "You have to hold it up! Shoot down or it's really ugly if you shoot up!" So not only does it take longer, you have to teach them camera angles.

I always wanted to be a juvenile delinquent but my parents wouldn't let me.