Where do you think you would be now if Jesus would not have saved you when He did.
Platforms are established because of the way the Lord used someone.
Any moment you're willing to give up your fig leaves, which you think are covering you, God will give you His righteousness, which will really cover you.
Unconfessed sin is a terrible, heavy burden to carry. God loves us too much to have unconfessed sin.
The only way I see an out is for you to take full responsibility.
Influence requires humility. The essence of influence is others. The key word is relationships.