I have a full grown, semi-nude man bound with duct tape in my truck and I was trying to get out to the desert to bury him. How do I get to 5 South?

I have a whole slew of doctors. I can count eight in my phone right now - eight different doctors, all for different parts of my body. I have specialists.

I have a full grown, semi-nude man bound with duct tape in my truck and I was trying to get out to the desert to bury him. How do I get to 5 South?

I feel like my eyes have gonorrhea.

I am nothing that isn't professional.

You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind.

I love the tabloids except for when I'm in 'em. Especially with the stuff they wrote about Jessica and I - it's obviously not true.