Changing the world, one exclamation point at a time.

I’m sort of known in the comedy community as “Smooth Sailing,” just ’cause everything always goes great. I’ve always had success at every turn.

There were plenty of times some writers would make some kind of stupid joke to each other and then it was on TV that night or that week.

If you're doing stand-up, there is no fourth wall; you're engaging an audience.

If you're a stand-up, you're more or less yourself.

I suppose we all have a lil' inner or outer a-hole inside of us, just waiting for the right opportunity to rear their own beautiful buttholes.

I always feel like I'm forgetting things.