Sometimes the best way to make 'em laugh is to show 'em how you honestly feel.

If you build it, nerds will come.

You're in front of an audience, but you're playing for a camera. There's this huge adrenaline rush, because you know that besides the audience in the studio, there are millions of people watching at home.

It's fun to do something funny and have the director laughing. It makes you feel good.

Why do all these people want [comedians] to be serious? The reason they want that is these are people who aren't funny. Anybody funny can be serious, but people who have no sense of humor, they can never be funny - and frankly, they're jealous. There's very few comic actors. Think about it. There aren't that many. It's hard because you have to be able to do both.

I feel lucky that I'm working at all. I don't take any job for granted. I enjoy this. It's all enjoyable for me. It's all part of it.

How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.