I feel lucky that I'm working at all. I don't take any job for granted. I enjoy this. It's all enjoyable for me. It's all part of it.

I don't want to talk about myself, that's for other people to say, so I'm not saying I was so talented.

But Opera Man, I go, "Oh, crap! Why didn't I think of that?" Because I could sing fake opera pretty good.

The problem with the economy isn't that people aren't paying their fair share of taxes.

You want everyone to be great and funny. I'm not saying I'm great, but I'm funny.

I like getting up in front of an audience. It's fun when you go to a baseball game and the crowd is cheering you. I can't deny it. And it's very funny, too. Sometimes you're shy; you go somewhere and everyone's looking at you, so you feel a little self-conscious.

Sometimes the best way to make 'em laugh is to show 'em how you honestly feel.