I didn't take anything from anyone - first of all. Second of all, I opened a comedy club with money that I saved over 25 years. I created jobs.

Sometimes the best way to make 'em laugh is to show 'em how you honestly feel.

If I make a dollar and out of every dollar I’m taxed at 50, half, at 50 cents, I have to give, isn’t that like enough?

My dad would always say, 'What can you do to make the world a better place?' Well, I can make people laugh.

But Opera Man, I go, "Oh, crap! Why didn't I think of that?" Because I could sing fake opera pretty good.

Nobody with a victim mentality will get anywhere. Ever. They will never succeed.

I would never tell anyone who to vote for. I'm a different kind of 'liberal' and I think people should be true to themselves. If you're Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal, you should be true to yourself and be who you are.