I would say if you are having a tough time in your life, then going to a club and getting laughs, it does make you feel better for that hour and a half show. It gets your mind off of it.

My dad would always say, 'What can you do to make the world a better place?' Well, I can make people laugh.

How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

Sometimes the best way to make 'em laugh is to show 'em how you honestly feel.

I would love to have a part opposite a great actor - like, say, Pacino or De Niro or Hoffman. And to work with a top director. That's my dream.

If I make a dollar and out of every dollar I’m taxed at 50, half, at 50 cents, I have to give, isn’t that like enough?

If you build it, nerds will come.